BREAK FROM IT ALL!

May 17, 2025 Opinion

BBM and Imee were flying on a Chopper over Laoag. BBM looks at Imee chuckles and says, “You know, I could throw a P1,000.00 bill out
the window right now and make one person very happy. Imee shrugs her stiff shoulders and says, “Well, I could throw ten P1,000.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy.” BBM tosses his perfectly hair-combed hair and says, “I could throw one hundred P1,000.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy.” Finally, the pilot rolls his eyes, looks at them and says, “I could throw all two of you out the window and make the whole country happy.”

Three men were marooned in an island, surrounded by crocodiles. One was an Engineer, the other was a Champion Swimmer and the
third was a member of Congress. The champion swimmer attempted to swim to safety but after less than ten meters, he was gobbled up by the crocodiles. The Engineer, decided to build a canoe out of the coconut trees. He launched the canoe and reached the middle, but the
crocodiles caught up with him and gobbled him up too. The Congressman started to think, then smiled. He took out his wallet, removed his identification card from Congress and showed it around the island.

The crocodiles then formed a line to make a bridge, where the lawyer was able to walk to safety. When the crocodiles were asked why they
did that, they replied: “professional courtesy lang yan.” During the earthquake. A man went and kneeled before the altar. “Dios ko po.
Tulungan mo po ako. Kailangan ko lang ng P100.00 para pambili ng pagkain para sa pamilya ko.” This was overheard by a politician, who
had a big heart. He brought out his wallet but saw that he had only P 50.00. Anyway, half of what he was asking would be better than nothing at all. The cop gave the man the P50.00. The man looked at the politician and then knelt down to pray anew “Maraming salamat po Dios ko. Pero next time, huwag napo ninyong idaan sa politician kasi yung P100.00 na binigay niyo, hinati pa niya!!!

A policeman pulls over a mayor for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. I “I can’t do that, officer.” “Why not?” “Because I’m an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.” “Okay, we’ll just get a
urine sample down at the station.” “Can’t do that either, officer.” “Why not?” “Because I’m a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup.” “Alright, we could get a blood sample.” “Can’t do that either, officer.” “Why not?” “Because I’m a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die.” “Fine then, just walk this white line.” “Can’t do that either, officer.” “Why not?” “Because I’m drunk!”

One time there was an army camp in the Middle East that just received a new commander. During the new commanders first inspection everything checked out except one thing. There was a camel tied to a tree on the edge of the camp. The commander asked what it was for, one of the soldiers who had been stationed there for a while explained to him that the men sometimes get lonely since there where no woman there so they have the camel. The commander just let that go, but after a few weeks he was feeling very lonely so he ordered the
men to bring the camel into his tent. The men did, and he went to work on it. After about an hour the commander came out zipped up his pants and said, “So is that how the other men do it?” One of the men responded, “No we usually just use the camel to ride into town!”

A politician died at the same moment the Pope also died. They arrived at the gates of heaven at the same moment. They spend the day in
orientation, and as they’re getting their heavenly vestments, the Pope gets a plain white toga and wings, like everyone else, and the
politician gets much finer apparel, made of gold thread, and Gucci shoes. Then, they get to see where they’re going to stay. The Pope gets what everyone else gets, a replica of a Holiday Inn room, and the politician gets an 18 room mansion with servants and a swimming pool. At dinnertime, the Pope receives the standard Jolibee dinner while the politician receives a fine and tasty meal, served on silver
platter.

By this time, the politician is beginning to suspect that an error has been made, so he asks one of the angels in charge, “Has there
been some kind of mistake? This guy was the Pope, and he gets what everyone else gets, and I’m just a politician getting the finest of everything?” The angel replied, “No mistake, sir. We’ve had lots of popes here, but you’re the first politician we’ve ever had.” Sigh.